Copenhagen Trip

So it started with a cryptic clue for my impending 40th birthday. I got this text from Samantha


Not Norway

A surprise trip from my lovely wife- which I thought was Norway! Geography was never my forte.
We have finally got into a position where we are lucky enough to be able to afford to travel and Samantha decided to take us to Copenhagen in Denmark. Probably because I’m always banging on about how cool the Scandi countries seem to be after having been to Sweden about 15 years ago.
Anyway first impressions were kind of what you would expect from the Scandinavians. Spotlessly clean in the airport, lots of helper staff speaking embarrassingly good Enlgish (and numerous other languages), in the station.
I always feel like a bit of a philistine for not making more of an effort with other languages but there’s something about submerging yourself in a place where all the words look unfamiliar; it’s part of the fun.
Once we got to Copenhagen however the atmos changed a bit. We left the station out of the side that backs on to the red light district. Should’ve known really:
The apartment was an Airbnb. We arrived and the owners’ kids were comically lined up with their little suitcases waiting to be evicted from their own home by the slightly pissed couple from England. No worries, they were probably going somewhere nice…
The place was pretty awesome. Classic Scandi style, relaxed and informal, light and airy but utilitarian and understated. The family obviously had very good taste and a keen eye for art and design. I loved the kid’s monster drawings.

Birthday Beers




In the spirit of throwing myself into the culture I went to Aldi (that well known Danish supermarket!) and bought some crazy shit I don’t understand.

I can recommend the “Ass guard” (as we ended up pronouncing it), and the Grovhakket was a particular favourite of mine and Sam’s – god knows what it is, probably pureed dog or something. Anyway it was tasty spread on some rye bread.
After I’d decked the birthday beer and we’d had a quick nap, we were off to Väkst, a fancy new eatery on St Peter’s Street near the University.”Väkst” means growth. The whole theme of the place is based around a central greenhouse type structure with lots of hanging plants and greenery. The meals too tended to place the emphasis on the vegetables and herbs, which as a dedicated carnivore normally isn’t my bag, but I gotta say. It was all bloody delicious.
We had the taster menu which had about 5 or 6 courses I think with a separate taster wine for each course, again slightly hazy on the details. I can’t tell you exactly what I had because I looked like this by the end of it:

I don’t know what the Danish for “shitfaced” is

The following morning we decided to nurse our hangovers with a hearty breakfast. I can recommend Dyrehaven in the Vesterbro district a couple of streets from where we were staying. I have a bit of an obsession with avocados at the moment, so this played right into my hands. It was a crazy mix of granola served next to poached eggs on rye bread next to avocado with chilli on rye bread with watercress and roasted tomatoes and some more rye bread. I think they really like rye bread in Denmark.
The next day’s breakfast was at Mad&Kaffe which I’ve got to say despite the rave reviews didn’t live up to expectation as much as Dyrehaven. It was good, don’t get me wrong, but quiet busy (we had to wait in a queue to be seated for 10 minutes) and when the food came (a long time later) it was basically just various stuff in lots of little pots. I didn’t really get it. Why not just put that on a plate. What you’ve done there, is created a lot of unnecessary washing up. Good kaffe though …
Two more restaurants I need to mention are Krebsegaarden, which I visited on my actual birthday, and Meson Espana.
As you might expect, Meson Espana is a tapas place. It’s tucked away under street level, a 5 minute walk form the train station. We were the only diners there and might have walked past it but for a recommendation from a friend who had told us to go. The food was authentic and delicious, but being a greedy bastard, I always feel like I haven’t eaten very much when I have tapas. Plus I hate sharing food.


Krebsgaarden is a concept restaurant where the food is inspired by the current exhibition at the Galleri Krebsen. The food was incredible. Actually incredible, which may explain why it’s number 2 on trip advisor. Can I tell you what I had? Can I bollocks, because I also had the wine taster menu again. To be fair, it was my birthday this time. You’re allowed to be catatonic on your 40th birthday, it takes the edge off the depression. Funnily enough, I wasn’t that taken with the artwork on display in the restaurant, maybe the gallery is better?

I’ll tell you what else Danish people like to do. They luuuuurve to put the plate of food down in front of you and then tell you all about the food you are about to eat, and how it was made, and where it has come from,  and who grew it, and what their cousin does for a living and why that’s relevant and…OH MY GOD JUST LET ME EAT THE FOOD ALREADY!! I’m not knocking it really, it’s nice that they’re passionate, but for me this is nearly as bad a sharing.


I have no idea what this was but it was amazing.

All things considered I found eating out in Copenhagen to be a great experience with plenty of variety and quality, however, even relatively modest fare can be eye-wateringly expensive:
Copenhagen really is a great place to just wander around and take in the sights. There are some beautiful areas to the capital such as the harbour and the old town.

Lots of nice little shops too selling upcycled and designer goods alike. Samanatha was particularly smitten with this flower shop. It’s the kind of look she’s going for with the house.

But you gotta watch the exchange rate, it’s easy to get caught out if you’re a bit stupid like me. Managed to buy this delightful hand carved wooden bowl/ objet d’art for just a fiver.


Bah ha ha ha how we laughed when we found out!

Except that it wasn’t a fiver…It was fifty quid! Managed to get the exchange rate wrong by a factor of ten- D’oh! If you listen really hard you can still hear them laughing in the shop. Obviously I couldn’t take it back  and explain my error because I’m British and as such I would rather give away all of my money and belongings and live out my days as a hermit in the Outer Hebrides, rearing sheep and living off nettles than engage in that conversation.

Being as venerable as it is there are plenty of old buildings and history to immerse yourself in in Copenhagen if being a culture vulture is your thing. I was particularly taken with the architecture, both old and new.


…but being a modern city there are still shit bits…


Totally shit.

weird bits…


What the actual fuck?

…and dudes who skip leg day at the gym…


Douche bag



Carlseberg Museum

The Carlsberg museum is an absolute must-see and I would definitely put aside a good chunk of the day for this if you intend visiting. It was a really fascinating museum, but with added beer. I just fail to see how this cannot be a winner.


Carlsberg beer in Denmark is infinitely more delicious and quite a bit stronger than the UK version, so don’t be put off by that tepid stuff that somebody brought to your last barbeque because they didn’t actually like you enough to buy proper lager. The company have grand plans to develop the area around the museum into a chic, modern, urban setting, it will be interesting to see how they blend the architectural styles.


Getting About

I don’t know about you but I find that getting about the city when sightseeing can be a bit tedious unless you’re staring imminent death in the face. So with this in mind, we decided to hire a city bike “Bicyklen”. This works by handing over your bank account details at one of the bike hubs to a third party you’ve never heard of and then taking your life precariously in your hands as you flail wildly about in Copenhagen’s heavily-trafficked streets with a flagrant and, at times, suicidal disregard for the rules of the road. Remarkably, we weren’t killed and still had money left in our bank accounts when we last checked so it turned out to be something of a success. I think it cost about £2.50 for one terrifying hour.



Night Life

A couple of great bars that deserve a mention are Lidkoeb and Ruby. Lidkoeb has a warm, friendly feel about it with table service and a little area outdoors if it is too busy at the bar. The cocktails are pricey but really good. I loved this place.


Ruby is more well known, and whilst it was pretty fucking cool, there was a bit more of an air of pretension to it.  We had to queue to get in. On a weeknight!

Again the cocktails were fantastic but not cheap. Still worth a visit.


All in all I would highly recommend Denmark. It’s vibrant and fun, cultured and cool, seedy and saucy, but sexy and sophisticated. The people are warm and friendly, getting about is easy and the food and drink are sublime. Just remember to learn how to start crapping money before you go.

…oh, and maybe take a calculator.


London Weekend with The Lounge Kittens

Ok so just got back from a totally awesome weekend in London with two of our besties Doug and Abi. Doug had managed to bag some tickets for the launch party of the Kittens’ new album.

We decided to airbnb it again as we’ve had pretty good success doing that so far. Unfortunately there seems to be a few people using airbnb as an estate agency.

I won’t say the “apartment” was bad that would be unfair, I mean if I had to guess, I’d say probably only a handful of people have committed suicide there.

The flat per se was ok but honestly man, it was as if interior design had called in to work sick to come here and hang out in its pyjamas, eating cheesy wotsits in front of the TV in its underpants.

And all for only £300 for two nights! Samantha pointed out to me that where we normally stay for a cheap getaway, citizenM, would have probably cost twice as much for all four of us. I in turn pointed out that at citizenM there was free Wifi, a comfortable kingsize bed with Egyptian cotton that didn’t smell a bit like an old person’s armpits and a veritable cornucopia of pornography on the widescreen TV thus making it at least 11 times as good.

Anyway after a few beers I stopped caring and we were soon off to the show.

It was a meet and greet type affair where we got to chat with them and take our picture.

The Kittens were in good form and very funny and after a brief interlude where we could go and grab a bite to eat we came back to the venue for the show proper. If you haven’t heard what this extremely talented A capella band do, you definitely should, they’re unlike anything else out there at the moment.

The whole thing culminated in a bit of a boogie on the dance floor to some tried and tested classics.

Day Two

saw us bumming around Covent Garden and South Kensington looking at the mime artists and generally hanging out of our arses.

Had a nice Crepe at the Kensington Creperie; I had the Tartiflette, muffin face had the Chorizo, we all had a very bad hangover.

To remedy this we headed over to Scarlet’s bar, a quirky, kitsch number over at Covent Garden. Where we indulged in a little hair-of-the-dog activity. Damn I love Margaritas. But I love them more when they’re served to me in a glass skull.

Samantha had got tickets for the show over at the Cafe de Paris Cabaret. It’s a great little venue and the show was a fantastic mix of good old fashioned burlesque performers and some more modern acts such as Chris Cox, the self-proclaimed “mind reader who can’t read minds”. He is seriously funny by the way.

Over after-dinner drinks, Doug showed Samantha and me the joys to be had with snapchat. I know, I know, you’re thinking jesus carbface, why don’t you tell us more about these avant garde developments in smart phone applications. Ok, there are four year olds who are more ahead of the curve when it comes to this shit but to be honest it just rarely interests me. It’s moronic, it’s imbecilic, it’s bloody highly addictive is what it is.

Who knew that morphing your face into some grotesque combination of yours and your wife’s features could be so entertaining. On a densely packed train over a period of about 3 and half hours Samantha revealed herself to be hopelessly addicted to the app.

She literally couldn’t stop selfie-ing and then moments later, guffawing like a mad woman. I think people thought I might be her carer.

Anyway I think we can all agree now, that in a world full of sporadic violence from terrorists, famine, homophobia, racism and Justin Bieber, if laughter is truly the best medicine, then the cure almost certainly comes in the form of snap chat: